im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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