9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize