she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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