Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
