Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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