we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize