i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
