On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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