I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
