the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
