So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize