i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
