It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
