if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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