absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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