I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
