I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
