I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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