I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
