Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize