The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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