just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So much rum. So many feels.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
