Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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