clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
