Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
