I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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