Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
