Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize