I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
