your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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