Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize