Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
