If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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