I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
