Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
