If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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