I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
