I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
