i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
