I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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