Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
