I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
