I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize