I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
