Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize