i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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