Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize