Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
