Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
