do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
third nipple confirmed
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
