i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
