I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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