So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
