maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize