She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
