Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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