If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
