he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize