I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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