Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
