And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
