you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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