Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
