the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
did you just send me my own nude
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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