She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
