So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have fence marks all over my body
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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