...so i touched it.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
