So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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