discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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