is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
