reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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