My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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