He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
