I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
