There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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